I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
