Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
where are you?
Hypothermia
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
