so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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