Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My balls are so social today.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
