I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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