bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
