haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Randomize
