Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly http://tfl.nu/cj2d
  Replies (39) Good night (997) Bad night (10300)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad. http://tfl.nu/mg0o
  Replies (32) Good night (728) Bad night (7914)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material. http://tfl.nu/r91w
  Replies (15) Good night (12188) Bad night (1100)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"

  (1-301): View more from Maryland

  Soulmates.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?" (1-301): Soulmates. http://tfl.nu/8tiz
  Replies (28) Good night (4379) Bad night (1325)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in. http://tfl.nu/bth8
  Replies (14) Good night (1288) Bad night (2842)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash? http://tfl.nu/u262
  Replies (8) Good night (924) Bad night (2589)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  I hope you fall on your chin.

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Jealousy makes you ugly.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore. (1-802): I hope you fall on your chin. (802): Jealousy makes you ugly. http://tfl.nu/isvw
  Replies (14) Good night (2923) Bad night (1130)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking. http://tfl.nu/5z7b
  Replies (11) Good night (1375) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Sunday is the day of rest.

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (857): Sunday is the day of rest. (857): As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest. http://tfl.nu/lma5
  Replies (3) Good night (2151) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (772): Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with. http://tfl.nu/bsvi
  Replies (14) Good night (924) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood http://tfl.nu/i7ix
  Replies (3) Good night (909) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived. http://tfl.nu/meie
  Replies (5) Good night (1524) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch http://tfl.nu/197l
  Replies (7) Good night (503) Bad night (270)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer. http://tfl.nu/283a
  Replies (0) Good night (445) Bad night (254)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air. http://tfl.nu/q0rt
  Replies (3) Good night (509) Bad night (204)

Randomize