omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?