Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.

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(801): View more from Utah

Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail

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(937): View more from Ohio

We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture

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(804): View more from Virginia

They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(661): View more from California

im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.

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(847): View more from Illinois

He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.

(312): View more from Illinois

So... He's a barber?

(847): View more from Illinois

No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?

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(740): View more from Ohio

His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.

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(917): View more from New York City

Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.

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