i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase