Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers