You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
