If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
