five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
