WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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