This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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