Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

Goodnight sugar queer

(480): View more from Arizona

Sugar queer??

(602): View more from Arizona

Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?

Fav 17 1971 2429
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.

Fav 22 6502 1719
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(509): View more from Washington

Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...

Fav 6 1591 1030
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(802): View more from Vermont

I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.

Fav 11 2200 951
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(248): View more from Michigan

If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.

Fav 15 3002 1332
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(206): View more from Washington

What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.

Fav 11 1691 794
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(503): View more from Oregon

So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...

Fav 7 2028 741
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(773): View more from Illinois

We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.

Fav 3 688 386
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(740): View more from Ohio

Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.

Fav 4 119 20
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