That's intense
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
