I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
