Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
