I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
