I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
