Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I don't think brook has ever known best
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
