my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
