thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
