she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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