he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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