i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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