she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize