He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize