The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
