beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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