I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
