remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
