No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
