Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
