i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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