I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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