Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Randomize
