he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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