i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
