maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
