hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
