How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
