You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
