is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
