Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He felt like a one man threesome
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Randomize
