I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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