you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
