were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
