When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
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his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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