Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize