hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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