remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
