rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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