It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
