i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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