if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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