it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
