Three words: puerto rican gang bang
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize