this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
