My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
