you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
