Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize