It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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