Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
