You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
