in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It's rum buckets o'clock
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
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