Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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